chocolates

2008-12-05T14:38:00.002+08:00

yeah!it was my birthday yesterday!haha.had apple strudel as my cake...

i celebrated it with my baby!!and her cousins...haha.

im so glad i was able to spend the world day with her...

thank you dar dar!!!i love you!!

2008-11-23T21:14:00.002+08:00

im back again,after such a long long long time.haha
before i start to blog,i must really thank god for keep the door open when it semmed closed!
THANK YOU JESUS!!for gettiong me a place in shatec.
yeah!i got into shatec as many of you would have known by now.lol
but i start school in january...so early.
that's all i got to say haha

2008-07-27T15:13:00.002+08:00

DARRYL'S SUCH A LAZY PIGGGG.
so long never post.(:
just like me.hahahaha.
COPY CAT. xD
hahaha.im an INTRUDER.
i just thought i'd help him post since he is lazy.
rawrrr.(:
i dunno what to post luhhhhh.
going mad alrdy.
all i can think about now is BIO BIO BIO!
toodles.got to go studyyyyy.

2008-07-20T21:12:00.001+08:00

3 MORE DAYS!(:
wah-hahaha.i cant wait.

2008-07-13T20:45:00.002+08:00

my dream GIRLFRIEND:

~ allows me to pamper her,but papmers ME once in awhile.
~ able to take a firm stand when i fall short
~ give me some free space
~ to pray together when we wake up and before sleeping
~ enjoys my cooking even when it tastes bad
~ able to do things in the interest of us and not individual[ablility to understand why i don't give in to you sometimes]
~ able to tell me off when you do not like what i do[both ways]
~ truthful and honest
~ love me for who i am
~ tell me her feelings
~ able to keep me attracted to her
~ protective of me
~ care for me
~ proud of me[show me off]
~ is the same to everyone else.not only towards me
~ strong in god.have the heart of god
~ is always there for me
~ sensitive of my feelings
~ observant[albe to see small little things that are done]

2008-07-01T15:13:00.002+08:00

back to school again..into the second week of term 3 now...
o levels are drwing near really fast...
got the confirmation slip recently.
and just to find that all my papers except maths paper 1 and 2,combine science paper 1 and principle of accounts paper 1 are in the afternoon...SIAN.
anyway,i did bake my oreo cheese cake on the last friday of the june hols.
it rocks man!superbly delicious!everyone who ate it said it was really good.
baby,thanks for your compliment on my oreo cheese cake.and motivating my to study.
thank you for all that you've done for me!(:
i love you!

2008-06-19T13:11:00.003+08:00

im bored..just too LAZY to start studying for O's..sigh..

nothing is pushing me to study..not even my parents nagging and scolding..

i guess the main reason is because i REGRETTED repeating..

i should have just gone for private diploma.DAMN!

i noe i should surrender it to GOD..to LET GO,AND LET GOD.

to put myself together and be focused on my O's..but somehow i just can't.sigh.

and i just spent last nite cying to sleep.sigh..

anyways,i wanted to bake like yesterday...but didn't have the mood..

so i thought i could bake this morning..but was short of ingredients.

and hopefully i can bake tomorrow.just before the next school term start.

and where i'll drag myself to school i guess.sigh.

only if i had....

just all the regrets.sigh.

2008-06-18T11:34:00.003+08:00

yeah!im back again.
yesterday,i went to celebrate nat's birthday with the MACHOS.(:
had lunch.then went we went to the cathay walked around..
i bought ear rings for mich.and we ate ben's and jerry.
before watching the happening.
the i left with mich for her class bbq at downtown east.
but it ended super early.haha.
then we cabbed home....

2008-06-15T00:47:00.002+08:00

okay okay okay.
im not druce.but i'll just help him post for once(:
cause he is probably too lazy to post.
anyways,i think he's super cute cause he's in the choir.
haha.the tallest standing at the back row(:
it really took him great courage though.to join the choir that it.
i say that cause he is an introvert who doesnt really volunteer to do things.
ESP TO GO ONTO STAGE.
god must have really spoken to you and convicted you.im sure.
druce is fast asleep now.sleeping like a log.
tomorrow he has got to sing for parents day again.
YOUR PARENTS BETTER BE PROUD OF YOU.
if only they can see how much you are trying to please them and how much you want to earn their trust.sigh.my heart aches for you.
and im not angry with you anymore okay(:
I LOVE YOU DEAR!

2008-06-12T12:22:00.001+08:00

im eating ice cream now...lalala..

so what did i do today?

i went to nat's hse and messed the kitchenn.

but i hope i didn't..haha..

made spaghetti and meat balls..

then went to church for parents' day choir paractice..lol..

yeah.i can sing..lol

then got home late.

and im tired..*YAWNS*

and that's my day..(:

i miss you!!

sorry i couldn't be there after the choir practice..

i love you!!

thanks for today.(:

2006-10-24T07:04:00.000+08:00

well,i'll be going to sentosa today.hmms...what can i do there??i don feel like going.may be coz i might be bored there,coz its a family outing.yeah!!going start myone to one cooking course in a resturant in november.at least i wont be that bored through the whole holidays..im bored.im bored...they're all still sleeping.what can i do now??

2006-10-20T16:01:00.000+08:00

was busy with n level.and my bros keep hogging the com.yeah!!i'll be going on hol..to hong kong..hopefully will be able to go disneyland,to have fun.then there's gonna be youth camp.more fun.im going pon school alrdy.school is so boring.nothing to do except to stone and stone the whole day.i'll rather stay home man.im going be broke soon.darn!

2006-09-10T09:48:00.000+08:00

haven been posting for some time,my other com was sent for sevicing and my bros have been hogging up this com...so yah.had 2 'n' level papers alrdy...guess i've screwed up my sosial studies...haven been doing much for the week...and i've got to go alrdy...having prelims tmr.so yah...

2006-08-16T18:39:00.000+08:00

today,aug 16...well my class made our form teacher pissed somehow...and she spent the whole period scolding and asked a HOD to talk to us,so our test was cancelled.then last period was contact with form teacher...we died...had scolded again...just cut my hair and its damn short lars...at least i still have my fringe...=P

2006-08-12T00:10:00.000+08:00

oh well.i promised someone that i'll do the quiz by today,and i kept my word....here it is..

10 years ago:i was 5 years then,praying that my 2 front teeth will grow back,thanks to BRIAN who cause me to break it at the age of 4....
5 years ago:was primary 4,in a really lousy class and with many naughty and playful friends,quirt though,and an incident which i'll never forget..=(
5 snacks i enjoy:ice cream,chocolates and more...
5 songs i know all the words to:superman.untitiled.bad day....
5 things to do if i have 100 million dollars:enterprise to set up my own international resturant[chef],give a portion to my family,give to god..lazy to think alrdy...
5 places i will runaway to:somewhere no one will find me...
5 things i would never wear:clothes of my dislike...[times 5]
5 bad habits:eating too much,hogging the com,not doing TAWG,talking back,smth you ought to know...
5 biggest joys:music,friends,church,abittion come through and....
5 fictional characters i would date:i don't know...spongebob??
5 people to do it:anyone one who would like to do it...[5 times]that makes 5 people...LOL

2006-07-27T17:26:00.000+08:00

finally found the time to be alone to blog...i like to blog being alone..exams are starting and am i prepared??...i guess so...everyday go school is to get scolding and do loads of work and having tuition 3 times a week seems to me like having tuition everyday...time passes that fast man...prelims is like starting in less than a month time..and it will be veryfast coming to a start...and im tired and having intensive chemistry tuition later and i hate chemistry...i better go prepare....

2006-07-15T09:15:00.000+08:00

the third week of school in term 3 is over..and school is getting suckier and suckier when weeks past or may be as days past...espacially when the teachers remind us of our prelims and n levels and we don have much time anymore...the feeling just sucks...well my school has got two durian trees and a jsck fruit tree...now lies on 6 durians in my class...yesterday had a rain...then about 20 duriens drop...and one of my cleaner went out to pick up...well all i can say is that school sucks....

2006-07-10T04:49:00.000+08:00

what the heck!!im pissed man.france lost to the italians.i hate the damn refree.i felt that he was bissed lars...well,zidane headed his head at a n italian player and was sent off.and he was the one that sent off ronney too,coz of his own clubmate c.ronaldo...when england met portugal in thr quater finals..school is starting in 2 hours time.and i haven complete my work and my tuition work too...well,i better go off and get started....

2006-07-07T06:06:00.000+08:00

well,italy will face france in the finals in this world cup...really hard to predict who will win...today,ending school at 12 noon,coz of the moe excel fest. thingy...english n level oral is over...but the worst is chinese n level oral...i really dunno how...the teachers are really stressing us up man..work ,work,work,scolding,scolding,scolding...there's only 2 months left before my prelims...and im still slacking away...i think i've given up alrdy...what else can i do man??

2006-07-03T16:25:00.000+08:00

BOO!mich here...
he asked me to blog for him.so yah.
hmmms...
shout your fame was yesterday.yepps.
i was dancing!!fun.
going to end here.

2006-07-01T09:34:00.000+08:00

im back after a week or not blogging..well first week of school have started and im feeling the stress of n levels already...having loads of work already..and im still slacking around..well yesterday the school was slavking around as we had youth day celebration..had free ice cream provided by the parents support group,had $1.50 coupons to spend during recess in canteen..then had the celebration..got this teacher dance hip-hop damn cool andnice lar,wanna learn...

2006-06-20T15:28:00.000+08:00

okay..school hols are ending.i don beleive it.its so super fast..its gonna be term 3..and my 'n' level is drawing near as each day pass..i've seriously got lots of catching up to do..my mid year totally suck..way way below my expectation..then got life conference..no time to do..but....

2006-06-14T04:26:00.000+08:00

just came back from penang on monday night....how was it??erms..first 2 days was sucky ,coz i had a fever onwednesday and only went to see a doctor on thursday night..then friday left for penang with fever..didn't really had fun..couldn't really do things..at least i played bowling,,but no mood.so for the fun of it played with my bros cousin and uncle..my cousins were to return on sunday night..but he shared a drink with me from the same straw and he fell sick too..so his parents deceided to extent one day and return the same time as us,and did all the arrangement and also got a doctor to the hotel to see him....

2006-06-05T18:47:00.000+08:00

im sitting in front of the com and having a headache..friday leaving for penang..smth god....to enjoy myself and stay away from this....smth bad when i come back on monday,,i might feel worst..or might pretrnd to be okay ther when im not..but i'll go. .so my uncle can buy stuff for me..yeah!!....

2006-06-01T12:38:00.000+08:00

haven't update my blog for over a week.sorry.hols have started.but its boring and im being nagged to do up a timetable for this hol.who ask me to do so badly for the mid year.bet even if i did a timetable,it wouldn't make a difference.coz i won't follow it at all lars....

loneliness

2006-05-22T14:40:00.000+08:00

the day has come for me to tell//show my mum my results//exam papers.TONIGHT.that's it.the chef is really pissed//tired already.so don get lost and don't bother him....

2006-05-19T13:38:00.000+08:00

heyys.!mich is back. ;) hmmms...what to blog??lets see.darryl,although you have not done well,but life still goes on.yeppps.so thiking sad will just make your life seem more miserable.but look at all your probs from god's kind of view.life would seem much better there and than.STAY STRONG!i also did VERY badly...

learning from mistake...

2006-05-17T06:20:00.000+08:00

though i might not have done well,but i know that i can learn fromthis.and not make the same mistake again in future...and those who haven't done well,just work harder next term.it has no point being down about tuor resylts below expectations.what's over csn't br undone.and life isn't over yet.

2006-05-15T00:04:00.000+08:00

lalalas!!mich here!!i really dunno what to blog for you alrdy.oh yah!tomorrow is MONDAY!go back to school day.or doom day for most of us.cos we are getting back our results.yepps.i got no school tomorrow!!whee.my school gave us thursday and monday off.yepps.than tuesday go back to school collect results!!bleahhs....WORRIED?hehs.cheer up.don be worried.whats done cannot be undone.so yahhs.its not the end of the world.

smiles!!

mich.

what else can i do

2006-05-13T19:52:00.000+08:00

as it's after service,and it's close to 8 but i'm home....not wanting to eat though i'm having gastric...i should be at macs now but i just just don't feel right as in not the usual self...but what else can i do??i just some how is already doubting god...i don't know what to do...i'm just feeling down.i just hate life.there's no more meaning to life.i'm hungry!!!when prople ask me how i am and i'll just say i'm okay,that's just the simplest word to say.but acctually i'm not...my meaning,my dream god's plan,hope.they are gone i can't see them anymore.it's 8:01 and my grandma just called.she asked me why i am like having no energy.and what's wrong.but i just said i'm fine.and she hang up as she was looking for my mum and she is not in...many thoughts are just passing through my head.druce,why are you so stubon.can't you just cheer up.why are you like that.keeping everything thing to yourself.god is there wait for you.but look what you are doing.....

i'm....

2006-05-13T12:25:00.000+08:00

as it's past noon...and service is starting in about 2 hours time,i began thinking all over again...

thoughts:how are you feeling now??

me:begining the cycle of being down all over again...

thoughts:wad are you thinking about??

me:my exam...

thoughts:why??

me:i was feeling moody during the whole exam period.

thoughts:but did you study??

me:no...may be a little but when i try to,i'll just stone and nithing gets into my head.

thoughts:when do you think you getting your results back??

me:i guess monday??

thoughts:how do you think you will fair??

me:fail all,may be no for maths??

thoughts:are you prepared to get the worst n scolding and be punished??

me:NO!!!not at all

...and it goes on...

i don't want to see my results...i don't want to let my parents see!!!term one results will be much much better!!!

and i'm still thinking...

just hate it...

2006-05-12T06:14:00.000+08:00

i was actually feeling okay yeasterday.but it ended yester nite due to my damn father.i knew that my mum going get new phone then i ask her if i can change phone with her.she change it last nite,motorola slvr L7.then my damn dad gave it to brian.shit.nvm,it is just a phone.then during dinner time my friend on msn chatted with me.then my dad go reply for me,i just hate people reading my convo and...then i stop eating and went to the com.my friends wanted to invite me go watch movie then play pool today.i agreeded.then my damn dad saw everything.and didn't let me as we were going play pool.then i got pissed.threw my half eaten dinner nito the bin and stone on my bed.then my mum saw me so moody talk to me.ask me why.but i just shut up and did not answer her.then she told my dad.how to trust her??then she came back talk some nonsence which i didn't bother to listen.then said i can go.but must tell them where i go,so they can check on me...you think i want to go already??i can't even have freedom.going out with my friends.one moment my dad say can't go.next moment say can go.is he trying to play with my mood//feelings??if he want to do that then i shall play with his and let him get angry lars.i'm just to moody now.i don even want to go out.

this is just a prison.i got no freedom.i just hate this life......

...and i'm still thinking.....

2006-05-10T13:28:00.000+08:00

i've now got no mood to do anything.i'm tried already.i just want to give up.i just can't take life this way any longer...and i'm still thinking....

my results are going to be damn damn damn sucky.no more As or Bs[may be maths an exception]my parents are going to kill me and i'm sure i'll just going to be down....no more com,no more freedom,no more....and i'm still thinking....

i just hate to see the faces of my parents already.i just hate it!!!don ask why...today didn't need to go to school and same for tomorrow.coz i finish my exams and others still have it till tomorrow.and then comes friday.having no choice but to see them for the whole day!!!i'm bored so bored damn freaking bored.stoning since i woke up.just doing nothing....and i'm still thinking....

...but life still goes on..... and i'm still thinking.....

i don wan....coz...

2006-05-09T15:39:00.000+08:00

i don wan to live anymore.
i don wan to go to school anymore.
i don wan to stay at home anymore.
i don wan to go to church anymore.
i don wan do anything anymore.

coz life just meaningless..feeling down each day.
coz school sucks,having to face exam,stress,freaking techers.
coz home to me is like a prison.i'm just a prisoner,having to obey commands.
coz how do i know if he's there to hear my cry??he got so many other people to listen to around the world.
cozwhatever i do makes me feel i'm in the wrong.

life has got no meaning.
life is just to make me down.
life,i'm not worth living it.

...but life still goes on...what else can i do??guess i'll just have to live it till....

just my life....

2006-05-07T17:16:00.000+08:00

welcome to my life

by simple plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

given up on mid-year...

2006-05-07T12:59:00.000+08:00

part 2 from may 4 post....friday had maths paper 2 narrowly completed it in time[but no time to check],coz i help my friend cheat...arw....my friend sitting beside me lars....he dunno how to do,and know i am the top few in class to get A1 for maths.coz we were to do our workings n write our answers on fool scap paper.then he took extra,dunno why.than he dunno how to do questions,then he wrote on a paper then when teacher walking to the front[we were sitting second last from the back],he pass me the paper,than i do for him n pass him back...and we never get caught.then i conyinue doing,left 15 minutes and i still got to graph question to do[draw the graphs and answer the question].then he came to me and ask me for help,but i know i'm short of time,so i ignored him and do my exam......till times up....
after that paper,i had to stay back with some other friendscoz we just took up add. maths this term,so had to do the exam.i was in a total daze as i dunno how to do,forced myself to think and think.....so i left 98% of the exam not answered,i'm totally pissed of with myself.exams have yet to finish...but i noe i have screwed up my mid year already,and have given up,even before the last 2 papers have yet to come.i'm not studying for ,my last 2 papers anymore....

my thoughts : what are you going to do now??

druce : prepare myself for the worst results and scolding from teachers and parents...

my thoughts : are you that useless??

druce : yes,i am,or will i just give up like that...

my thoughts : are you worried??

druce : duhh.results,,even more with prelims,,and extremely with 'n' levels.

my thoughts : what do you plan to do??

druce : i really DON'T KNOW...DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT IT,SHUT UP!!!I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE...

i'm dead,dragging myself out of bed each day...i'm just useless ans stupid,living in a freacked up world.i'm dead...so dead...but ...................

...but life still goes on.......

sorry to those i've disappointed...

2006-05-06T09:38:00.000+08:00

perfect

by simple plan

Hey Dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according
To plan?
Do you think I’m wasting
My time doing things I
Wanna do?
But it hurts when you
Disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t pretend that
I’m alright
And you can’t change me

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be
My hero?
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t
Care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t stand another fight
And nothing’ alright

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

Nothing’s gonna change
The things that you said
Nothing’s gonna make this
Right again
Please don’t turn your back
I can’t believe it’s hard
Just to talk to you
But you don’t understand

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

...but life still goes on.....

2006-05-04T15:07:00.000+08:00

it's been long since i actually took time to blog...
last thurday had english exam,think i going fail it...compo wrote out of point!!!
last friday had chinese exam,think i going fail it...letter writing wrot out of point...n paper 2 don understand the questions...
tuesday had maths paper 1,same paper as normal tchnical,think going to do lower than expected...guess i had lots of careless mistakes...
wednesday had sosial studies....don really understand the different source,so could not answer that well...structured essay questions not enough time to finish that i wrote"......",so i think i will fail or just pass....
today had science,physics and chemistry,left question blank...and tjose dunno how to do,just tikum...so i think i will fail or just pass....
dunno how i'm going to last till nrxt tuesday,n i still got add. maths that i yook up at the begining of this term....

...but life still goes on....i'm just sick of living this life...don trust anyone anymore so just shut up...i just wanna be alone....

feeling down

2006-05-02T14:57:00.000+08:00

heyys.guess who?its mich.im here to help HIM blog.i reaally dunno what to post/blog.so im going to talk nonsense.and be nonsensical.sigh.HE says that HE really wanna blog/post but HE has no mood to do so.and that HE is really feeling down these few days and very heavy inside of him.i noe how that feels cos....i've felt it before.maybe still feeling it now.HIS exams are here and HE is very stressed up with studying.but HE is still forcing HIMSELF to study...and HE has screwed up all the exams that he had taken since...[i have no idea.forget alrdy.]]yepps.he is still thinking how is he supposed to achieve the targets that he had sent to his adult leader. CHEER UP! =) all your friends will be there for you if you need them.just give a call...GOD is there for you too.he'll be there watching over you 24/7.have faith!

i just wanna be alone....

2006-05-01T07:33:00.000+08:00

SHUT UP

by simple plan

There you go
You're always so right
It's all a big show
It's all about you
You think you know
What everyone needs
You always take time to criticize me

It seems like everyday
I make mistakes
I just can't get it right
It's like I'm the one
You love to hate
But not today...

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

There you go
You never ask why
It's all a big lie
Whatever you do
You think your special
But I know and I know and I know and we know
That you're not
You're always there to point out my mistakes
And shove them in my face
It's like I'm the one you love to hate
But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

(Shut up, shut up, shut up)
Is gonna bring me down
(Shut up, shut up, shut up)
You'll never bring me down

Don't tell me who I should be
And don't try to tell me what's right for me
Don't tell me what I should do
I don't want to waste my time
I'll watch you fade away

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say
Is gonna bring me down

Bring me down
Shut up, shut up, shut up
You won't bring me down
Bring me down
Shut up, shut up, shut up
You won't bring me
Shut up, shut up, shut up!

am i the person you think i am???

2006-04-29T05:38:00.000+08:00

am i relly the druce//darryl you know??i don't even know i am...may be coz i've lost meaning to life?!who the hell am i?!i really don wan to live anymore...do i really have a life,that i can live it on my own??or do i have a lfe that is controlling me???

what's life....it's just some routine i guess??i feel that i don have a life...if not why am i aking up so early,just to study for exams??if i really do have one,why can't i like sleep for as long as i wan??

i've already sdrewed both languages exam...what's the point of studying when i think i gonna fail my langusges??aren't they the most important??i don noe how i'm going tell my parents... ..

life just sucks,,,no one can ever change the way i feel of life anymore......

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

been feeling this way.....

2006-04-25T18:07:00.000+08:00

Untitled
by Simple Plan

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I'm not who u think i am

2006-04-23T10:11:00.000+08:00

Hey pple, i'm not who u think i am. Darryl asked me to blog for him..... Okay. So here goes.... Darryl STOP feeling down and moody. He's been like this for dunno how many days or even weeks already. He's finding it hard to concentrate cause of his mood again and his exams are starting this thursday... Know wat... Darryl just CHEER UP!!! God's there for u 24/7. sheesh...okay. So there... Anyone knows how to help him... It's God. And his friends who read this pls help him too ...

Thanks again..
((: signing off..
G.C (lolx)

I'm not gonna put my name.
i'll like to remain anonymous.

guess who?

2006-04-20T16:48:00.000+08:00

hello hellos!! =)
guess who i am??hehs.
don tell you.
you will find out later after you finished reading this post.
hmmmms...i have no idea what im supposed to post.
so im going to type nonsense here...
im here cos HE asked me to post for HIM.
yupps!!lalalalas.
i really dunno what to post??
hmmms...let me think.
kays.i noe!!
HE has been feeling all down and sad these past few days.
and cant concentrate in school.
cos...i dont noe??cos of HIS mood swings and all.
and HE thinks that HE is going to fail all his test that HE has taken.
cos HE never study for them.
lazy to study i guess.or too tired?
or too busy watching /playing soccer??
bLEaHhs,,,,,,
im going to stop here.
dunno how to carry on.
i noe i've been crapping.
LOL.

posted by:MICHEL.
SMILE!!!

sundays

2006-04-17T05:03:00.000+08:00

for the past 2 weeks,i've been down.either b'coz of mood swings or for some other reason.espacially on SUNDAYS!!!

yerterday,was feeling down expected.but it was truly the worst!!i really don't know wad to do.i don't even want to go to school anymore,having to face those naggy teacher,who just wants our work.

wish i could be sleeping for ever.....

just a short post,cause i'm moody now.

me...me...me...always me..

2006-04-09T20:05:00.000+08:00

it's been been a week since i'm DOWN.what has happened to me???it seems that i'm the one who's always at fault.but is it true???i dunno...argh...it's basicly like everything i do,i'll get negative remarks,nagging,scolding.....this just make my thoughts of life negative.what is life???does anyone know what my kinda of life is???even if i'm down for a week...a month...a year...a life time i won't blame anyone.coz everything i do is always wrong.i can't change the fact.

what else can i do???when will i be happy.does my parents understand me???i don't think so.why is everyone against me???does my mum knows it hurts to talked about me to my grandma behind my back???...it's not the first time you've done that...she don't know that i've heard her doing this before.after that my grndma will nag and scold me.it just happened yesterday.do i have to do wadeva my mum ask me to do???why does she have to force me to do things i don't wanna do???

i'm lost...i don't know what i should do...am i really that BAD;USELESS.no one can change the way i think of myself and life anymore.i'm starting doubt people arond me,and GOD.i seriously don't know what to do.why is this happening to me???

you people don't know that i'm DOWN,coz i'm hiding it from you.

but lie still goes on,what else can i do......

what has happened to me???

2006-04-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

well it's been 1 week+ since i've blogged.i've been having heaches,taking naps,too stressed...espacially now with a maths,moody...well can u beleive it that i passed my first a maths test on friday[first as in really first,coz i just took it up this term]and i also had 3 other test on that same day...see that's what i mean by stressed,4 tests on the same day[lasts friday]oh yah...my geog/ss teacher cum form teacher really went crazy man.she is like giving us test daily.but do u think anyone give a damn about it??she's.....

so today,ended scholl early cause we had sports day today,had to be at the stadium by 1.45.after school today,at 11am,my frends and i went to play soccer.the void deck.we left for the stadium at 1.45,so we're late.that's not all.we than reported to our form teacher,to mark attendance.than during the 20 minutes interval/break,my friends and i ran off,despite prefect stopping us...orh hor!...now i'll get into trouble if that prefect sabo us .than 15 minutes later it rained...we went toa payoh central.then at 4pm,we saw our classmate.and he said that gonna have another sports day{'part 2']coz of the rain some events were not done,and pupils dismiss early.

i better go do my work...

again...why???

2006-03-26T23:04:00.000+08:00

if u have read my previous entries u would have known i've been feeling down.yah...then for a short period i wasn't....

again,i'm feeling down since last week.dunno why lahs.just feel as though life sucks.may be it's because of stress from school.my brain's dying,not functioning as it used to.i also feel as though each day i'm straying further and further away from god.feeling as though i'm too far for him to reach me.i just dunno what to do.feeling as though i'm too useless.can't seem to do my work properly anymore.

why is this happening to me???no one knows.

just a short blog this time.i've got no mood.

POOL instead of CIP

2006-03-25T22:36:00.000+08:00

was stressed through the week and was very tired and sleepy.just took my first lesson of A maths on thursday...so i'll basicly have to stay back everyday after school,rxcept friday.so i had to change my tuition timing...

slept for only 5 hours,slept at 12.30 pm last night,and woke up at 5.30 this morning.coz i had to change n go Ang Mo Kio MRT Station meet my friends then do CIP.after collecting then tin,sell flags for Y.M.C.A.we went macs for breakfast.then we alighted at Orchard MRT station.then we strolled to plaza sing coz they wanted to go arcade play.but too bad we were in school uniform.so we deceided go near by play pool.the stall keeper actually didn't allow us coz we were in school uniform.but we begged her,so she allowed us and gave us 2 table partially hindden by walls.won all my friends.then left at 1.15pm.and realised our tins are still empty...sshhhhhh...so on the way to the Douby Guat MRT station,we ask for donation.i only collected $4[1 $2 note,1 $1 coin,and 2 $0.50 coins]arw!!!!so rethurn the tin at 2pm,1 hours late,coz we played pool till 1.15pm.after returning the can,i ps my friends and rushed home.reached home at 2.30pm.didn't have time to change,so i grabbed my bag and rushed to church ,i was still a little early.thank god for providing me a bus.or i'll be late.reached home after church at 10.15pm.i never be in my school uniform rill so late before in my life.

a supposed 6 hours CIP,became a 15-30minutes CIP arw!!!shhhhh...

ARGH!!!!!!

2006-03-19T22:26:00.001+08:00

schools starting tomorrow.damn!!have yet to complete my work.monay to wednesday was in camp.yah...so had no time to do it.had to miss Apostolistic Prophetic Night coz i was too tired.i so wanted to go but i slept .so i missed it.damn!!then came thursday,had tuition in the morning,and wasted my time and i took a nap.friday came,went for a picnic with vincent's family.came back at 3pm and i took a nap.then went out for a movie with my 2 younger brothers and vincent.

saturday came,was games day.payed $5 just to play two games,vollry ball,using a ballon.then played basketball,my team vs the 'star team'[some adults n pastor gary]so we lost but the score's 0-1 jumped to block a ball,n who noes i landed on bro brain's foot,my bro,at lest i did alpologise kays,i'm a good guy...lol...then went under shelter,did some group cheer...and went to the hall for some lame game,coz it was raining.

today,i was feeling down,dunno why?just felt tired of living.then took nap again.am i really that tired??well school starting...sigh...i gonna get STRESSED up again.wish i nvr need to go to school.

i got to go complete my work,hopefully.i doubt i would.

finally...

2006-03-03T20:22:00.000+08:00

argh!!!i'm so tired,but i dunwanna sleep.so i'm 'wasting my time on the computer.
yeah!!!today had principle of accounts test,supposed to have 3 chapters but teacher deceided to have 1 chapter instead,coz my classmate's ca marks are bad.so techer deceied to help them by giving a test.guess i'll get full marks again,coz i'm proded in this subject.maths so boring,coz teacher keep giving examples b4 letting us do work on our own.by the first or second example,i understand liao.can sleep man.erm...may be it's time for me to help my friends who are weak at maths???

yeah man...finally i found time to cook dinner for my family again.it's like half to 1 year since i cook for my family.i cooked wan ton soup and assam fish.pro rites???...lol...my mum and my youngest bro said it was really nice.but sadly brian went out for dinner with some adults,and ezra said it sucks...expected,coz he so fussy with food and he dun like home cooked food.what to do???

oh yah 1 more thing i going for camp in malaysia,desaru,during mrach holidays,13-15,than got chance to eat seafood there too.cool man.but first let me see whether i can enjoy the time there,coz i have yet to know my term 1 marks...

phew...

2006-02-26T20:38:00.000+08:00

finally i can hang up the phone...was talking to michel's mum.all thanks to her little bro.it first started when michel told me that he bro said that i like that.total nonsence.than for the past feww weeks i never had a chance to see him.than i thought finally can tlk to him,but instead he too chicken and run away.saw him n her sis,just arrive in church before service,they walked pass me,than the small boy run away.

today,in the afternoon,after lunch,came back than chatted with mich on msn.i was asking where her bro was,she said he was with matt at the art n craft thingy.than we talked nonsence.at the door,about to leave for dinner,michel phoned my bro's hp.it was for me,than she passed it to her bro,coz i wanted to talked to him.than he said yo wat's supp man,yo wat's up???,than i ask him why do u say i like nat,then he said yo wat's supp man,yo wat's up,and he hung up.than i was feeling...what the...,i gonna get him on saturday in church.

came back from dinner,chatted with her again,asking for her bro again.who knows her mum was there looking at her.than michel said her mum wants to talk to me,i peplied dun bluff...liar,than i was stunned when i read "hi,aunty mornica here",i was so surprised.than she phoned my house,tofind out why i was looking for her son.and said she will settle it for me.than michel came to the phoned,she ask if i was scared,than i said yes,coz i didn't expect this to happened.than i hung up...phew...now even as i'm blogging,my hands are 'jelly'.

anyway i gtg study and sleep...

let go...let god

2006-02-22T23:28:00.000+08:00

Like what benavon wrote on her post…”you have to let go. let go of the past. let go of impressions of the world. let go of your heart, and let it be anew.”

After reading it ,it just sank into my head.it was just telling me to let go of the past,whatever failures,hurt,anger…whatever has happen in the past,in in god’s hands,and that I should not dwell upon it anymore.but live for the present..upon knowing this now,I should let go and let god take control of my life and not depending on my power…what I’ve been learning in bible study is the book of genisis,learing that god is the creator,and the different attributes of god.it’s high time for me to cheer up and be happy.coz god created me for a purpose.

Just realized February is ending,after my teacher told the class that the school annual cross country run is next Tuesday,last day of the month.which also tells me term 1’s ending…and I’ve registered for n levels examination,and knowing it’s timetable.it’s in September…time passes real fast..

I better get going to study…no more time to slack like last year…

suicide,not the solution to life

2006-02-19T17:24:00.000+08:00

everything i do,whether right or wrong,i always get the scolding...i'm no longer a good role model to my brothers anymore.what's the damm problem with me.just feel like i'm living to lifes...1-an angel in church,2-a short tempered at home...feeling as thou i'm no longer worthy leading a life for god.getting astray from god.wanting to die,but i not it's not right ,that's why i'm still here.

i'm now taking things as though,everyting i do is always wrong...

what am i to do??trying to persist on,but each time i get scolding for no reason,just feel like giving up,backsliding,doubting god and dying.thought that folloeing god through obedience,by getting water baptised,god would lead me throught a more meaningful life.but instead,things got worst.i'm totaly drained.my emotions are affecting my studies too.

but anyway,my father got the new car today...yay!!!it's a toyota wish xe model.more powerful than our previous car .hyundai trajet.the staff that serve my father,was actually pissed off,coz despitr the sign on the car ,wich indicate it was sold,it also writes DO NOT touch.when we received the car,there was a lot of figer prints on it.that was not as bad as having a dent on the car.

not in a mood to blog any more...

responsibility

2006-02-15T17:14:00.000+08:00

when walking back from canteen after eating during recess.i saw people putting up a new poster
it writes...
RESPONSIBILITY...
-I will keep my word.
-i will avoid excuses
-i will do the right thing.
-i will bo my best.
-i will do my duty.

after reading,i reflected on it and some how just feel god's presence around me and speaking to me.
how i interpreted/reflected on it...
RESPONSIBILITY
[IF I'M RESPONSIBLE,WILL NOT GET SCOLDING,WHIGH MAKE ME FEEL DOWN]
-i will keep my word.
[i will not break my promise]
-i will avoid excuses.
[i will not 'back up' my mistake]
-i will do do the right thing.
[i will study as a student]
-i will do my best.
[i will never give in ti failure]
-i will do my duty.
[i will study hard as a student]

in conclusion,god was there(even in school)and spoke through me even through what seemed to be a small thing.
i'm now trying to learn from my mistake and trying to be positive.

being reponsible means gtg study for test tomorrow...lol...

lesson learnt

2006-02-15T05:09:00.000+08:00

been feeling much better after I DO.on monday went to the gym with ezra.ran only 2.4km,it totaly sucked.anyway its early in the morning on wednesday.well yesterday was a very tiring day for me.while i was reading newspaper on the sofa and who know's...i laid down and slept.upon waking up,i realised its 6 o'clock...1 hour left before leaving for bible study,and its too late for my father to cut my hair.which means that i slept for 2 - 3 hours.felt really angry with myself for sleeping=(...nowander i love pigs...same behavior.

anyway stayed up late to complete all my work.its 11.30pm when i pack my bag.and i've not studied for my maths and sosial studies test,not forgeting my tution homework.very diapointed with all my test result,coz i screwed them.i barely pass my test or failed them.antway what's down its down,no looking back.mistake learnt.i only slept for 4 hours 30 minutes.can't beleive it.i'm still tired.but i'll sacrifice my sleep to study,rather than screwing all my test.

anyway i better get going to study for my test and not screw them up again...

im feeling tired.but can you make me sleep=X

i do

2006-02-12T20:17:00.000+08:00

woke up this morning and was still angry and feeling down about what happened yesterday morning.[read my previous post]...than i left for church for the valetine day event I DO.was there way before it started.during the drama,i just felt god's presence in me and using it to minister to me.and it continues through the sermon by pastor gerald.than i thought the altar call was just speaking to non-christians.as events like that was to reach out to our unsaved friends.but in my heart,i was hpoing for an altar call too to the fellow christians.and to my surprised,there was one.i went up and started to cry,i knew that it was god who is ministering to me,to forgive my mum and myself.

i kept on crying.after my sp prayed for me,they were already packing up.i went back to my seat and sat there for a while,before going to get my chocolate fountain,which i didn't really enjoy,as i didn't really like the taste of the chocolate,as well as that god was talking to me.now it's like?? hours past I DO and god is still speaking to me.

this must be god's plan for me.i'm glad that god is cleaning my spiritual body,though there are more for me to do.

this the best day of the year so far in my life...thank you jesus!!!

my kinda freaking life

2006-02-11T23:48:00.002+08:00

well...things are getting worst.watch i not stupid too last nite.the movie seems to be talking about me.well i just talked back to my mum and ended up getting canning this morning and it seems i always in the wrong and my mum always rite.

it all started when ezra was supposed to tell me that i was to call my mum after the movie,but ezra did not even told me.she called moses phone.and when i called back i ended up getting scolding when i dun even konw i was to call my mum after movie.so i got frustrated and became angry.came home didn't greet my mum.she questioned me why i never greet her.by my facial expression,she knew i was not in a good mood.so she kept quiet.and i went to bed.

this morning after i woke up,i was feeling much better,but i also didn't greet her,and she ask me why.and i never answer.than she reminded me of my anger last nite.and i got angry again.when she asked me to keep my shoes in the rack,i ignored her,she asked again.and i told her off.saying i needed to wear it for church.the situation got worst.after the canning,i was in a total bad mood.
the only thought that weny through my mind was to backslide and suicide.just can't control my temper.she just don't understand me!!!

so what is life??is it just to get scolding and becoming angry everyday??just don't know what to do with my life anymore...

guess i will just shut up and not talk to her anymore...

going to stop here,coz i'm still angry and not in the mood.

me...myself n i

2006-02-06T19:11:00.000+08:00

i'm

down...

angry...

sick...

frustrated...

stressed...

just don't know whwt to do with my life anymore...

should i just give up???

life = cycle,routine

2006-02-02T21:02:00.000+08:00

getting busy and worked up with school work and managing chores at home are no different anymore.just with a blink of an eye cny just went by so fast.whatever song that i listen to just seem to be hopeless now,so i just dump my mp3 on my table,never used it for 1 month or so.just feeling depressed and stressed.

may be my expectations for this year is too high...may be coz of n level...may coz i'm just taking things too hush on myself..guessed i'm depressed since october last year??i just don't feel right.don't think i'm in the mood to have yu sheng with my relatives on sunday anymore.i don't even look forward to hoildays and weekends anymore...they just seem to go by with a blink of an eye.life is no more meaningful as it used to be.just seem to be a another routine. test...test...test...having 2 or 3 test in a day,leave me no choice but to sleep late and wake up at 5 in the morning though i just take 5 minutes to walk to school.just because of test i'm depriving myself of sleep...just feeling so sleepy and having headaches.guess with days to come i will be sick and weak.

been studying so hard...yet i fail some test...but thank god teachers have yet to call my parents...may be it will happen soon???failed my accounts paper and yet to let my parents sign..really don't know what to do.just can't concentrate in school anymore....life is just a routine now...may be i'm just beeing too negetive and refuse to change.i'm getting lost in life now.

no i'm not looking forward to weekends and hoilidays anymore...what is the difference??i go school to study...stay at home also need to study for test...isn't it like going to school??

im just down and stoning,really lost......

gong xi fa cai

2006-01-29T22:29:00.000+08:00

happy lunar new year!!!on friday,at school ,during the CNY celebration i feel asleep!!!not surprised i did that!!!all celebrations in school are very boring!!!after school went 2 bugis with vincent n ezrai finally got a new bag!!!!!got to take taxi 2 church without taking dinner.thanks 2 vincent!!learnt something really good at church!!!THANK YOU PASTOR GRRALD!!his sermon really let god speak to me!!!the reason people might feel down,is because god is silent..than u might ask..........why is god silent??coz he wants to test our faith in him,so that he can bring us 2 a higher level,n encouter him.after that sermon i was feeling much better.last nite,had reunion dinner at my grandma's house.i jus love her cooking.but sadly had a small cut on my finger......he result of peeling prawn to eat!!!this year, i some how was not in a mood 2 celebrate CNY.guess it's coz of sleeping for 5 - 6 hours a day n having common test the day we return to school.guess i will br studying all day 2morrow,unless we go visitng.guess i better get more sleep this new year too,b4 school start again.2day went visiting till like 3pm.came home i slept till dinner time....that is how tired i am.feeling really sinful,coz i've been eating loads of snacks,fried food,n chocolate too,though im still having cough.guess it's time 4 me 2 resist all temptations,or else my cough would get worst.its getting late...gonna rest now..... nearly 4got this,thanks to those who has been encouraging me when i was down...thank you...

too much questions

2006-01-26T17:41:00.000+08:00

what is life??why do i feel life is not worth living anymore??why do i have to get scolding n nagging at school n in home??why am i feeling down all the time??do i have to torture myself by waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning jus to study??why do i study so hard n dun do well 4 tests??r my expectations too high??why do i have 2 b feeling down all the time??is life really tat bad??lunar new year is near n why am i not happy n excited??how long can i keep my problems away fromm my parents??..................jus got to many questions to ask........jus feeling so empty in me.........this morning woke up at 5am jus to study 4 ting xie.on the way 2 school,saw the moon.it looked like a smile 2 me,sort of cheer me up a little.in school,the entire school got scolding from discipline master n principle again.than got 2 witness public canning.yester got witness canning too.but it was in class........sad.....*sigh*......practiced writing the ting xie words several times at home.than it was time,did ting xie wanted 2 get full mark,but dun think i can even get 90/100 anymore,coz cant recall some words......*sigh*.....than got the maths test paper back which was done yesterday.i expected 2 get 20/20,coz it was easy.when i got back my paper i was really disappointed,i got 17/2o...really disappointed....*sigh*........n started tearing...........than received something worst....i failed my principle of accounts test!!!!!!usually after every term i receive my report book n my grade would b always A1 or A2....but this teat i fail,got 9/23 n i need parents signature.through experince,i will get scolding,even with wateva explaination i have.dun think i gonna let my parents sign.......*sigh*.........r my expectations tat high,till i can't acheive tham???seriously i dun think i would have the mood 2 celebrate CNY anymore very sad.but life stiil have to go on.dunno how long i can take it.................jus dunno wat to do anymore...............life jus sucks totaly.......................

mood affecting studies

2006-01-25T17:21:00.001+08:00

had been feeling down again 2day,as usual.woke up at 6.30am,instead of my wanted time 5.30am.2day after school go home i walked on the road in my estate than vechicles jus drive past me.out of a sudden a car horn at me.dunno y???i only walked at the side of the road.out of frustration coz im feeling down,i turn back n pointed at him,the driver.apperantly he saw me throough the rear view mirror.than he started to reverse but i didn't give a damm,n continued walking home.than i turn back again,he had drove away.but the worst thing tat can happened to me is that he luanch a complaint to me school.n if im caught i will be canned.*sigh*hopefully not.
2day got maths test did okay.but if i do not get full marks, i dun think i will be able 2 4give my self 4 doing so badly on 2 tests yesterday.learning my 24 words ting xie now,but nothing seems to be getting in.think it is coz of my mood,just can't concentrate.if i fail mt ting xie,i will have to do corrections 4 every wrong word 20 times,not only that still have to do ting xie again.so very strict.but onthe other hand if i pass i only got 2 do corrections 4 every wrong word 5 times.u tell me hu will wnaan fail ting xie???of coz i wanna pass lah.but my mood is jus affecting my studies lah!!!!!2morrow still got geography quiz!!!wat 2 do now????i've also benn starving myself by not eating lunch since monday,though im hungry,coz of my mood lah!!!!!!have been insulted by teacher,like my teacher said u r so lazy,coz i could not do my sosial stiudes test on tuesday.n some other teachers too*sigh*............i'm not lazy!!dun beleive,go ask my bros.im studying most of the time!!!!!jus dunno wat 2 do?????dunno how im gonna spent my lunar new year in this condition!!!!life better improve as the new year approaches or past!!!!or else....................................

help...help

2006-01-24T16:51:00.000+08:00

had no choice but to blog again!!coz i am feeling really down n jus can't take it anymore.it has also affected my studies..........people reading my blog...........pls help me !!!!!HELP

so stressed

2006-01-24T16:02:00.000+08:00

can't blog 2nite coz got bible study class.ok,let me talk about yesterday first.my teacher 4got got class test so no test yesterday.it was postponed 2 2day.managed to clarify somrthing that i didn't really understand.YAY!!but yedterday was still feeling down.was again crying.talked to my kor 4 the 1st time about how i'm feeling.than deceided 2 go macritche cycling.coz brian wanted to see his meis in christafter their cross.but than never find them at macritche.than he called ariel n found out that they were already waiting 4 a bus at the bus stop.so we rushed there.before we could even cross the road their bus came.than they never board ,so they missed their bus.than he n vince chatted but i never coz was feeling really down...........now today,selpt at 10.15pm last nite and wake up at 3.45am this morning.only sleep 4 5 n half hours.after i wake up,i stoned on my bed till 4.15am.i did my TAWG n sudy 4 2 different test.my dad was surprised to see me up so early at 5am.was the 1st to reach the class coz left half hour ealier to study.was really feeling disappointed when i could not complete both test coz i fail to recall the things i studied n learnt.coz was feeling down ,didn't had lunch yesterday n 2day.still feeling down.every day is the same ,with scolding from school 2 home.really dunno wat 2 do !!!!help!!!!!!!any way gtg study 4 test again 2morrow n ting xie9spelling in chinese)on thurday.

what's wrong with me

2006-01-22T16:17:00.000+08:00

life's been bad 4 me.from the begining of the year,i've benn feeling down practically everyday.always getting scolding and nagging in school and home.everyday i wake up life's seems to be the same.can't even be happy in the inside and outside for once.past 2 weeks go church attend IGNYTE service can't even worship GOD.feeling lost and don't know what to do now.though the sermon did bring little light to my weeks,i just feel life's the same everyday.what is the matter with me,can't i lead life the same as past year??i felt really down today since 11.55am.wake up at 6.15am just to study.than once i felt down didn't have the mood to do anything.crys and tears was all i did till lunch time.even when eating lunch,was not in the mood and didn't felt like eating.but no choice had to eat coz was very hungry.been wandering is life worth living??and i don't thinl i derserve to live.it's only the beginig of the year!!why am i feeling so down??what is wrong with me??what should i do now??help me!!but i remember Jerimiah 29:11